The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but building the new. —Socrates
Carve your name on hearts, not tombstones. A legacy is etched into the minds of others and the stories they share about you. —Shannon Adler
January 26th, 2020 will be remembered in the lives of millions of people worldwide. The death of Kobe Bryant hit me hard as it shocked so many people within and outside of the basketball world. As a life long Lakers fan, to watch Kobe’s basketball career was such a gift in art and entertainment. But to watch Kobe mature not just as a sports icon, but as a hu-man, as a husband, and as a father is what made Kobe’s journey transcend all others.
The truth is that Kobe wasn’t flawless, even on the basketball court. He made decisions in his younger adult life that hurt people off the court. The trauma for the victim of his sexual assault, the mental and emotional pain this caused his wife and family, and the personal shame this would cause anyone that has true remorse in their soul. I remember this time in his career well, feeling a mixed bag of emotions towards Kobe. I loved him as a basketball hero, and was saddened by the mistake of his actions.
This is what writer Roxanne Gay had to say regarding the “complications” some may have felt towards Kobe even to this day. Roxanne is also a survivor of sexual violence.
We do not know how to create space for complex realities where people can do both great and terrible things. We do not know how to create space for redemption. We simply lack the capacity to have nuanced, uncomfortable discussions about the fact that sometimes people we admire do terrible things and that we can acknowledge both their greatest accomplishments as well as their worst moments. I believe the first and last person who should have a say on the matter of Bryant’s redemption is his once victim. I find myself trying to understand the intensity of this public mourning, and to extend empathy to someone to whom I would rather not. And yet, I’m not worried that I felt sadness about his death. I would be worried if I didn’t.
What a powerful and interesting perspective. She’s right, the only people that can extend true atonement for his mistake is the actual victims that were directly impacted. It’s so easy to fall into the pits of blame, shame, guilt, and depression based off of the mistakes of our past. These thoughts and emotions can keep us from true redemption, and help to bury the legacy of our memory once we leave this world.
Kobe seemed to have found the answer that helped him to transcend beyond this pit that many cannot climb out of. Roxanne Gay reminds us,
He regained his reputation, he continued playing basketball and accumulating wealth. He retired in glory and during his retirement he even won an Oscar and was working on an inspirational children’s book. He and his wife continued their philanthropic efforts. He created the Mamba Sports Academy. He coached his daughter’s basketball team. He was an attentive and present father.
Part of Kobe’s legacy is what he called “The Mamba Mindset.” This mindset is what kept Kobe focused on change and improvement in all areas of his life, through his personal trials and tribulations to a place of love, outreach and peace. In an interview with ABC’s Robin Roberts, she asked Kobe one word to describe his legacy. Kobe’s answer; “WOW!”
I believe we can all live a life worth our own WOW perspective. That is the challenge we are all faced with. In what ways can we identify and change the mindset that may be keeping us from reaching a legacy worthy of WOW.
If you or someone you know is seeking or trying to understand the emotional complications behind redemption, here at Epic Discoveries we would be honored to begin the difficult, sometimes uncomfortable discussions that lead towards self discovery and transformation.
To all the victims of this tragedy, Rest In Peace.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tsQVcNM7PMw
